This is “Woof of the Week”, the newsletter about the things that make me say “Woof” the longest each week!
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Welcome to Woof of the Week!
Friday was St. Patrick’s Day which meant revisiting an all time classic video:
If you haven’t seen this before, or are in a place where you can’t watch, the “Crichton Leprechaun news story” comes from NBC affiliate Local-15 WPMI News. In 2008, the station ran a segment about an “alleged leprechaun sighting” in Crichton, Georgia. Members of the community expressed their excitement about the leprechaun – one person wanted to rent a backhoe to find the gold, while another showed off a “special leprechaun flute” that warded off spells.
By far, one of my favorite things was this sketch the news showed:
Again, this aired on television meaning it must have been a really slow news day. In the years that I’ve revisited this video, I’ve come to love the unabashed optimism in the community regarding the leprechaun. The look the man gives after the crowd cheers to indicate that they all think they’ve seen the leprechaun is… amazing.
Isn’t it nice to believe in something bigger than all of us, if even for just a little bit?
Around the World in 80* Woofs
*more like, a handful of bullet points
Here’s two longer stories from the week that made me say Woof:
B o n e l e s s
Chicago resident Aimen Halim is suing Buffalo Wild Wings over its Boneless Chicken Wings. Apparently he has “suffered a financial injury” because the boneless wings are “slices of chicken breast meat deep-fried like wings” and not actually wing meat. Citing false advertising, the lawsuit states that “Had Mr. Halim known that the products are not chicken wings, he would not have purchased them, or would have paid significantly less for them.”
When I looked at the Chicago BWW prices, a 10 piece order of traditional wings is $16.29, while a 10 piece of the boneless is $13.29. I’m not quite sure what kind of financial gain he hopes to get here - would 10 actual boneless wings be cheaper than $13.29? In this economy I say, no way. And also, what kind of financial gain is he really hoping to get out of suing the company? Woof.
If you’re curious, the full text of the lawsuit can be found here. And if you want to watch a video that says “boneless” the way I heard it in my head while writing, you can watch the video ONLY if you promise not to raise your volume all the way up because the audio WILL destroy your ears. Ok, here we go, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Without further ado, Boneless Pizza.
Dream of Green(ie?)
If you missed the SNL last weekend, a man is attempting to live underwater for 100 days! Equal parts a research trip and a run at breaking the record for most days spent underwater without ascending to the surface, the man determined enough to try this is Joseph Dituri, aka Dr. Deep Sea, an ocean explorer and clinical researcher.1
When you think “living underwater”, you might think of one of those glass tunnels in an aquarium, with fish swimming around you, as the sunlight streams in from above, filling your domicile with shimmering lights ripples.2
Well, prepare to have your expectations adjusted - here’s a tour of the Jules’ Undersea Lodge. Based in Key Largo, Florida, it’s the only underwater hotel in the US, approximately 22 ft under the sea. Besides the fact that it’s tiny, you’ll notice that there is really only one window to the water. And that water is very… green.
On Instagram, I asked Dr. Deep Sea if the water was as green as it looked on camera, to which he private messaged me to say - “Yes.... a little bit of sediment in here too”. Props to Dr. Deep Sea for attempting this feat! I wish him the best in his research and hope that the lack of sunlight and green water doesn’t drive him insane!
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Have You Made Your Life Harder Lately?
On paper, you could say things have been going well for me lately. I’ve started a job that gives great structure to my week, some creative projects are slowly coming to life, and several of you have reached out to tell me that you enjoy the newsletter! (Though one of you called it a blog and ok, maybe it kind of is a blog especially when i write in parentheticals and purposely don’t capitalize my “i’s” but it’s still ~a newsletter~)
When life starts feeling comfortable is maybe when I also feel the most anxious. My brain slowly shifts to overdrive without me even realizing it. I start to wonder when the rug will get pulled out from under me. Instead of trying to hold onto what is working, I try to get ahead of what isn’t: usually unresolved situations in my life that, if active attention were paid to them, would maybe see resolutions.
Often this means taking on more work. This could mean making a concerted effort to work with an editor on an unfinished short film – which then means budgeting, setting a schedule, and actually making sure I watch cuts. Or it means setting up new projects – which is everything I just wrote including all the added fun (read: stress) of creating a film in the first place. Except in that case I would probably grind really hard to make it, and then sit on the edit for another 6+ months, as I am doing right now.
Zooming out, I feel like in these moments is when I purposely make my life harder, aka self-sabotage. Like, oh - we’ve reached a moment where I can function normally? Why not throw a wrench in the works? Better yet - how about large, red-hot tire iron that not only jams the gears but also burns its way through my system?
That’s kind of what happened this week!
It’s usually not a conscious decision to self-sabotage, but these moments are always accompanied with “Wow things were going really good up until I did that huh?” a minimum of two days after doing whatever I did. This is followed by a cycle of (generally) mid-grade regret, guilt, and depression, indulging in bad habits that if I wasn’t already doing, am definitely doing now. This includes, and is not limited to, going to sleep late, drinking more, and getting an extra crunchy taco from Taco Bell.
Which are all actions of self-sabotage! Sleeping late means getting to work late. Drinking more not only means more money spent on alcohol, but also drinking more than I should during the week. And of course forcing myself to eat the crunchy taco I convinced myself I wanted because you KNOW it won’t keep well in the fridge.
I’m trying to do better at internalizing the knowledge I gain in these not-so-great times because I’m pretty over the pace of my mental and emotional growth being the same as characters in a serialized sitcom, who learn lessons just to learn them all over again in the next season. Part of me wonders if even the idea that I could create that metaphor is a factor for my self-sabotage. Am I seeking to apply a narrative to my life? Am I creating my own conflict, internal or external, for the sake of the story? Or am I just discontent if there isn’t some “opposition” or “problem” in my life that I am actively rallying to fight?
There’s no real answer here – these questions, feelings, actions – they’re all wrapped up in issues of self-esteem, self-worth, and mental health. All things to unpack in therapy at some point, certainly! The best I can do now is put my best foot forward into the world, and also make sure I keep my Taco Bell orders in check. And go to sleep earlier because I did not think I’d be finishing this at 2:20 in the morning.
Quote of the Week
This week’s quote comes from an Instagram interaction I saw last December:
“What’s going to suck most about 2023?” “That it’s going to happen.”
Nothing can stop the inevitable passage of time, not even archiving all your digital memories in Instagram’s story archive server.
That’s all folks!
Thanks for reading this week’s edition of Woof of the Week!
There will be an extra edition of the newsletter this week - a new midweek post called “The Wednesday Woof” that I’ll be experimenting with. At the current moment it’ll go out to all subscribers - but will be partially paywalled! So if you’re a paying subscriber, here’s your exclusive content :)
Leave a comment because I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Some questions I have for you -
What kind of ways do you self-sabotage yourself?
Bone-in or boneless?
How long do you think you could live underwater in the Jules’ Lodge?
See you on the next one!
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The current record is 73 days, set by Jessica Fain and Bruce Cantrell.
Fun fact, in college I was obsessed with recreating this effect for film and video. Shout out to my college roommates for indulging me in filling clear plastic tubs with aluminum foil and water and then blasting lights at them for three months!